I get many different kinds of clients coming to me, attempting to better their dating life. Some have even taken programs from mainstream big names companies overseas. Some of them even attempt to give me dating advice during my free consult sessions. Some request for only a specific area of coaching. Some disregard theory. Some are committed and some are not.
Here’s my take on clients that eventually get results. They are humble enough to put in the work and learn all aspects of social dynamics. I recently had a client go out cold approaching almost every single day. He’s only a month old into the program, and he has gone out on two dates. That’s a good outcome, considering he’s completely new, and he’s tackling the completely cold market. I have clients that don’t come for classes or are inconsistent in making this a priority in their life. To get good at shit, you need to stretch yourself.
It’s no different for me either. I had to stretch myself to grow the business. I had to stretch myself in school to get the grades I desired.
The Value of Social Dynamics – Philosophical Rant
Teaching dating dynamics in Singapore is a weird thing. I think I’m one of the only guys that might have successfully normalized it. I’m not a pick-up artist. I don’t label myself like that. I’m just a guy that is able to talk to strangers if I found her attractive. That’s it. In fact, recently, I’m a lot more open in stating that I’m a dating consultant in Singapore in my personal life.
I get clients that perceive me as a pick-up artist. They are usually obsessed about mass approaching. I can usually figure out a couple of minutes through the phone. I guess the quantity problem is larger than I expected. That’s because they aren’t able (or willing) to use other aspects of their life to meet women. I can empathise with that.
Now, I’m not disregarding that approaching isn’t a skillet to get down, or that you should not be technical in how you approach dating as a skillset. There are certain concepts such as a frame that is extremely useful to understand where you are at in any interaction. However these days, I don’t put too much value on trying to objectify every single interaction. There’s a ton of value in getting other areas such as self-esteem, emotional issues sorted out. It also saddens me when clients aren’t taking exactly the holistic approach in getting figured this area of their life figured out.
Getting good at dating as a skillset is getting good at your emotions. I recently adjusted to a more technical approach in my own dating life. However, I quickly found out it’s pretty exhausting if you’re always putting up a front or if you’re trying to say something in order to be smart or witty. This is where vulnerability comes it. There are no more smart or witty things to say, just emotions to express through actions. This requires you to be good at pushing through despite feeling the fear of rejection. Trust me, no amount of money, achievements or good looks is going to help you in this area.
This is why it’s difficult. This is why it’s also a life long process or getting good at emotions. This is why most people don’t do it.
To sum up this short rant, I am at a strange point in my life. I desire to be a 100% open with my profession and not have it perceived as a negative thing. I don’t do so because of the possibility of ridiculous expectations that come along with this industry. The guru business especially. I am not a guru. I am not a master. I hate to be called either. In fact, I’m the most anti-guru guy you might come across. I don’t identify or hate to perceived as a player or pick up artist. So don’t call me that. I’m just an average guy that rationally figured out how to get more choice and control in your dating life if you’re not in some extra privileged position.
I’m just human.