Ever started a project or a pursuit and you face negative feedback or criticism from friends or family? Negative criticism can hit you really hard. These tiny criticisms can cause a lot of unrest. They may have repercussions such as self-doubt. The thing about criticism is that not all of them are bad and some can point out your blind spots and weaknesses.
Look, I’m not without my weaknesses. One of my biggest weakness is that I obnoxiously spill water out of a bathtub when taking a shower. I noticed this when a couple of my Airbnb reviews gave me negative feedback during my trip to Europe because of the same reason.
I got pretty upset. I remembered feeling ashamed for a couple of hours thinking I’m an absolute piece of shit.
However, at the end of the day, a couple of hosts didn’t feel I was a good guest, yes, that’s a fact, but what about the remaining hosts that enjoyed my company during my stay?
Criticism in My Life
Through the years, I get a lot of interesting criticism and feedback. I had people criticizing my money habits, my customer service attitude to my copywriting headlines.
It didn’t matter if I published 2000-3000 word long guides. It didn’t matter if I got the SEO results my clients desired. It didn’t matter if I demonstrated to people that approaching girls in Singapore is possible. It didn’t matter if I turned my portfolio around using index funds and show how you can to invest similarly.
The critics are always going to be there. They are going to nitpick. Oh, you didn’t do this. Or you should do that better. The key is to be careful about who you listen to. Some criticism is good, a lot is unjust for.
Real Life Examples of Shit People Say:
‘You’ll NEVER succeed in life without a formal education’.
‘This guy graduated from SIM and not from NUS’
How many successful people didn’t go to University? I met a friend younger than me by a year last week. He’s running a million dollar business. He didn’t go to University. Some of the most financially successful people I know barely made O Levels, much less a prestigious University.
‘I walk away from guys that talk to me in public. That’s creepy as f.’
Sure, good for you, you’re probably attracting the creeps. I wonder why.
‘Marcus, you’re someone that NEVER SAID SORRY ONCE IN YOUR LIFE!’
How much time have that person spent in my life over the last one year? Close to zero. He or she is probably projecting his or her own insecurities.
‘SEO is not a skillset’
Is SEO not a skillset? It’s actually deemed one of the highest skillset sought after by Singaporean employers. Source: report. Just so you know, I built my business and get my dating and life coaching clients purely through organic SEO marketing. I didn’t spend a single cent of advertising for the first 2 years.
Be Careful of Who You Listen To
Everyone around you is going to dish out criticism or judgment like a snap of the finger. That’s because it’s so easy to judge, much harder to sit back and think.
I also think a lot of critics don’t actually mean what they say and probably critcized the jest of the moment or decided to be a troll on the internet. Psychological research shows that our behaviour is influenced a lot more by circumstances. They mighe be going through a tough time. Secondly, they might be projecting their own insecurities on to you.
Sometimes, I get criticism that my writing is crap or my grammar is shit. Interestingly, when I ask my customers why did they purchase from me. The majority of them said: I like the way you write.
If you read my site, you’ll know that my articles are a little controversial and different. That’s what makes MarcusNeo.Com unique. It’s exactly the way I write that is appealing to the right people with all my fucking grammar mistakes, swear words and spelling errors.
Instead of listening to people that’ll never appreciate my work or buy from me, why don’t listen to:
Thank you. You guys make my work worth it.
Lastly, am I closed off feedback? Hell no.
Here’s a better way to feedback to others, try lightening your crticisim with a softener:
This form of criticism, I’ll gladly accept. Not to mention it’ll also make you more charismatic amongst others, your colleagues or even the opposite sex. If you don’t get it, I recommend reading my site. I do publish quite a bit on social skills.
These days, when someone labels me along the lines of being an asshole. I get all butt hurt about it: How can they not see? How can they not see how much effort? I get all bitter, resentful and all pumped to prove them wrong. However, I know I’m not those labels. If I wasn’t truly open to change or feedback, I wouldn’t have hired a psychologist during my earlier days or invested a fuck ton of time studying self development.
Ultimately, there’s no need to invest any emotional space on un-constructive feedback.