It’s said that if you can make a woman laugh, you get her to laugh right into bed. Getting a girl to laugh isn’t a cure all to your dating woes, however, it’s a necessary social skill to build. Other than making a girl laugh, humour is also a way of make her and others feel comfortable around you.
How to Make a Girl Laugh – The Ultimate Guide
Humor, at the core of it, is the the art of drawing connections between too completely unrelated ideas or objects that’s completely absurd. It’s a creative activity. There’s no math behind it. You cannot over prepare for it. It’s not something you can box or put down to an algorithm.
Your ability to make a girl laugh, tease her is dependent on your willingness to be polarizing and edgy. The thing about jokes is that some of them is going to fall flat. This is unavoidable Some times, I get a flat silence when I mouth off something ridiculous. Other times, I get a huge laugh. It’s a social risk I’m willing to take. The rule of thumb is this: if your joke fall flats don’t try to laugh at yourself or make fun of yourself. Just act as if nothing happens and move your conversational threads forward.
Humor Techniques, The Your Bread and Butter
The majority of my clients are usually the nice guy sort. They come in, some of them are good listeners, however, most of them aren’t willing to assert themselves in a more edgy, polarizing manner. To get good at attract women, you need to be somewhat edgy. You need to be willing to say something that might piss her off, or assert a strong opinion.
There’s also a difference between being humorous in general and teasing her. There are overlapping principles, however, the former is making jokes that she finds funny, the latter is eliciting an emotion in her by making fun of her. They are both useful to add in sexual polarity and charisma in your interactions
Teasing is when you make humorous comments that are derogatory about someone. You can tease her just about everything: about how fake her hair looks. Or how red her shoes are. Try to be creative with this. When she dresses up, you can tell her she looks like some cartoon character from some movie.
Pointer to note: sarcasm DOESN’T come off well in texting a girl. Sometimes, girls can be quite offended or don’t react well to some good-natured ribbing. This can be quite true for the Singaporean or Asian culture. It all depends on who you are with. Some girls react well to more derogatory teasing, and some girls appreciate genuine compliments. Mix it up.
For the Singaporean readers: One classic line I used to do is to associate a girl with an ‘ah lian’ but in a light hearted manner. The ‘ah lian’ is a stereotype for a girl who isn’t that intelligent who’s quite unkempt in the Singaporean context.
Teasing is also suppose to be fun, it should be said with a smile. The ideal tease creates a mixture of emotions in a girl: defensiveness yet happiness. An ideal reaction from her should be: ‘Oh my god, I can’t believe you just said that.’ However, she’s smiling and laughing at the same time.
Comedian to study: Russell Brand
- Stereotypes and Cultural Referrences
This can be practiced by studying local comedians that perform to your local audiences. Stereotypes are poked fun at almost every local comedy show.Teasing can be done along with the concept of common stereotypes in Singaporean society. Singaporean comedians like Kumar exploits it by going into Chinese, Malay and Indian stereotypes. One good one I often use is the good girl/ bad girl stereotypes.
This is the safest form of humour where you joke about something outside of you and the girl. Exaggeration has to be something absurd and non-logical.
Comedian to Study: Russell Peters
The technique of misdirection is one of the most common and easiest forms of humor. Misdirection occurs when you begin to say something or tell a story which leads to the listener to believe you’re making one point, but you proceed to say something completely different.
Here’s a good example of misdirection: I use all the time is to joke with girls that I’m actually quite shy, after spending an entire evening being slightly cocky and extroverted. I’ll also insert in at a point in the interaction where it’s least expected, just for the extra effect.
Comedian to study: Craig Ferguson
- Role Plays
The technique of role plays is taken right out of the pick up artist textbooks.
They are playful and can be useful to spice up a stale interaction. You can role play girlfriend/boyfriend, husband/wife, student/teacher or any potentially sexual relationship. If she’s your ‘girlfriend’, you can either break up or get together with her. If she’s your ‘wife’, you can either divorce or marry her. One other role play and a slight disqualifier I use these days is complain to some else that your ex girlfriend (her) is bothering you.
Roleplays are fun and refreshing for a girl, nobody rarely does it.
Just like all other humor techniques, roleplays should be done in context. I used to do: ‘I’ll like to adopt you as my little sister’ (as a minor disqualification). However, this rarely works for me anymore. Girls often take it in a wrong way where they’ll think I’m not interested in her.
Here’s one of the most useful flirting, humor techniques, misinterpretation. It’s also a commonly known technique to answer ‘shit tests’.
For example, if a girl says: ‘I’m not too sure about your beard?’
You can misinterprete it as: ‘I’m flattered you’re thinking about my face, but hey slow down, didn’t we just meet?’ (done with a tongue in cheek manner)
This is basically misinterpreting anything a girl says as a compliment or a sexual advancement. However, becareful not to take it too far. Use it in context.
If you enjoy a darker, intellectual form of humor, not everyone is going to get it. I personally enjoy dark humor. Like making fun of dead babies, that sort. I’ve also rubbed people the wrong way. Wordplays, puns, sarcasm and swearing will all fall under this category of subjective humor. They aren’t for everybody, however, if you find a girl that can connect you on such a humor, then you’re hitting the lottery ticket.
- Wordplay and Puns
Wordplay is similar to misdirection. However, wordplay practices misdirection by using words that have different meanings.
Girl: ‘Stop being so mean Marcus.’
Me: ‘Stop calling me average.’
Puns and wordplays are even a rarer form of appreciated humour than sarcasm. They tend to be really intellectual in nature. You’ll find little women who’ll appreciate them.
Sarcasm is a darker form of humor than teasing and it doesn’t really work well with most of the girls. This is especially true with Asian girls, where Asian culture is a lot more reserved and sensitive. The majority of women won’t get sarcasitic humor. They’ll think you’re being serious and get confused. This may come off even worst on text. However, you’ll get the rare one or two that understands sarcasm and she’ll love you for it.
- Role of Swearing
Inserting a ‘fuck’ in your jokes can give you cheap laughs. I use it quite a bit during my teenage years and it has given me lots of laughs and at the same time weird stares.
Swear words can be used sparingly if there’s a right delivery and you know that the person that you’re communicating to is cool with little swear words here and there. With that being said, it’s uncool to just based your conversations with too many swear words. It just goes to show that you have a limited vocabulary.
Dropping an F-bomb in an already well timed joke can make it even funnier. However, dropping an F-Bomb in everything you say can make you come off as unsophisticated.
Side note: Swearing should be used minimally in Asian situations especially when there is elder family around.
Example: Joe Rogan
- Self Deprecating Humor
There’s a form humour called self deprecating humour. It’s the art of making jokes at yourself. There’s a popular argument if someone that can laugh at himself and the world conveys a high level of confidence. He isn’t taking things too seriously or himself too seriously. He’s not really concerned about someone else’s perception of him. Compare this to someone who’s very serious and unable to laugh at himself or the world. This conveys that he is over invested in what others think of him and therefore is not confident.
I started off learning humor by studying Louis Ck. His style is humorous for him because he’s overweight and balding. However, despite being humourour, he’s not the kind the guy that girls want to go home with. This is why for begginers, if you’re making fun of yourself and putting yourself down to get a laugh, you’ll come off as unconfident. You’ll need to be aware based on context. If you’re going out with a girl who’s really shy around you. Putting yourself down and laughing at yourself can help her loosen up and open up.
How to Practice: Frame, Playfulness, Timing & Expression
Okay, knowing jokes or the lines isn’t enough. There’s an art to telling jokes, teasing a girl or dropping an F-bomb. You got to pay attention to delivery, timing and facial expressions. These techniques unfortunately, can’t be taught through words.
The best way to learn this is to watch comedians and watch their stand up routines. Take note of how they interact with the audience, their style of humor, their routines, how they tell a story and how they nail a punchline. Take not of how they time their jokes, their delivery and facial expressions when they make a joke.
You’re not suppose to study humor logically like a Math exam. Humor is supposed to be learned creatively. If you’re teasing her, it should be done with a smile, with a grin and with tongue in cheek. You’re not suppose to go up to her and ‘execute the humor’. This is a creative skillset. It’s also the art of free association. The better you can freely associate in any social situation with words and observations, the better.
The Best Way to Learn Humor: Appreciating Language
The best way to learn humor to help you make a girl laugh is to appreciate language and wit. One of the ways to study stand up comedy. I remembered when I first started reading up. I’ll stay up on Youtube to watch videos after videos of stand up comedy. I started listening to comedians like Louis Ck and Chris Rock. I then attended a couple of improvisation classes. You can find these improv classes on MeetUp.Com or just Google them. They are often affordable.
One single sentence can be interpreted in multiple ways depending on you say it, deliver it. There are also often multiple meanings to words. This known as innuendos. If you get good at timing, delivery, tonaliy and facial expressions, you can use plain English to mean something sexual thing: sexual innuendos.
Using Humour to Bring Up Sex
One of the best ways to use humor isn’t to make her laugh, but to bring up sex in the conversation. If anything at all, the best use of humor is to use it to escalate physically with a girl. For some reason, openly talking about sex is a taboo topic in many cultures, many people are uncomfortable to talk about it. If you like to bring your interaction to a more sexual manner, using humor to bring up sex can grease the wheels. That’s because you can get away with anything that is funny.
Humor are sometimes used by comedians to criticize sensitive issues or individuals in politics, as opposed to an outright assertion (that’ll get you sued). This is the same for sex. If it’s funny, you’re not being creepy.
Humor in Westernized Cultures as Compared to Asian Culture
The form of humor that works in an Asian dating cultureis a lot different from the Westernized culture. I noticed this when got feedback from a friend who my jokes are often highly sarcastic and dark in nature. I find dark humour much more accepted in Western cultures. Not everyone responds well to such form of humour.
The Singaporean culture has an interesting mix of a myriad of races and religion living cohesively. It’s safe to say that you should avoid jokes that are sensitive to religion. However, it’s okay to step across the line in a humorous, lighted manner as opposed to an insulting manner.
Either that, you can train yourself to be universally funny. That is: Humor that is relatable to all people, regardless of language or race. I think Louis Ckdoes a good job at it within certain themes. He’s able to express the nuances of humanity in a humorous way. On the flipside, Louis Ck has this self-depreciating style of humor that doesn’t suit well for many personalities (including mine). Girls ultimately desire a confident man that don’t poke fun at himself just to get laughs.
Being Funny as Cure all in Getting Girls?
The ability to make a girl laugh isn’t a cure all for your problems for attracting women. If you over rely on their ability to make a girl laugh, you’ll end up as the dancing monkey, or the ‘entertainer’ constantly seeking laughs from girls. You might find yourself over reliant on quick wit and jokes to avoid asserting yourself romantically or sexually. If she’s smiling and laugh, your jokes must be working right? That’s a pitfall that I fell into for a period of time.
In general, if you consider yourself a ‘nice guys’, you probably already are charismatic enough. If you’re able to to crack a joke or two, then humour isn’t your main problem. If she’s laughing but your interactions seem to go nowhere, then your problem is being sexually assertive with her.