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Category Archives for "Attraction"

Jun 20

How to Deal with Rejection – and why It Is a Good Thing

By Marcus Neo | Attraction

No matter how much charisma you think you have, or how you alter your behavior, a good portion of people you meet isn’t going to be interested or available at that point of time. Dating is a numbers game to a certain extent.

There are a lot of dating advice out there that sells you a foolproof technique to get around dealing with rejection. Unfortunately, that is just marketing. The man who gets rejected the most often gets to most results as well. This doesn’t happen by chance. It saves you hours, days and years of time sink. Our job is to get to the point whether someone either is going to move forward with us or not, in the shortest time possible.

Incompatibility in Life Circumstances

If you’ve made a value of not going out with someone who doesn’t value your time, then the girls or people that reject you become immediately incompatible. If you’ve drawn the line of not hanging out with people who don’t value you as a person, then you’ll no longer need to play the chasing game.

The majority of times, you get rejected not because we did something creepy or obnoxious, but because of mere circumstances. There is a ton multitude of external circumstances that prevent someone from moving things forward romantically or sexually with you.

External factors can range from being already attached, the number of days you have left within the city, her cat dying, her friend’s opinions on how you look like the ex-boyfriend that cheated on her. Basically, factors that you can’t control. This is when are conversing with someone who looks at your longingly and deep into your eyes but holds back giving you her number. She probably has a boyfriend or a husband.

It is also a perfect example of the limitations of attraction and how most women or men at any given time won’t be available to you no matter what you do or say, or how attracted he or she is to you at that point in time. There’s nothing you can do when if you’re out with a virgin that has sworn off sex till marriage. It’s not about your ability to be charismatic anymore, it’s not about ‘persuasion’ anymore. No expert, line or ‘frame’ can help you, it’s a simple statistical incompatibility.

It’s only when you approach your dating life and actually INVITE rejection, you’ll be moulded to expose your values in the shortest period of time possible. You cut out the mind games, you expose your needs, desires and you establish clear boundaries. You stop wasting time and moves things forward efficiently.

Psychological Projection

Projection occurs when someone projects one’s own unconscious judgment onto others in everyday life.

This often comes in the form of character judgments. In dating and relationships, it can occur when you meet partners who for whatever reasons, are uncomfortable with their own sexuality, and they lash out at you for having attempting to move the interaction forward sexually.

These people may harbour trust issues or are completely uncomfortable with their own sexuality or the sexuality of the opposite sex. They may have a history of some sort of emotional, sexual abuse or had a string of disappointments or anger from the opposite sex.

Their belief systems on sexuality are negative and when confronted when with a sexually confident individual, they end up lashing out. They may accuse you of being demanding, sexist, overbearing, horny, untrustworthy and etc. They aren’t lashing out for a lack of attraction, but because they are attracted and that attraction scares them.

These accusations usually have little to no connection to reality, and a truly confident individual will simply ignore these accusations. The more forthright and authentic you make yourself, the more polarizing response you’ll invite from others.

Redefining Rejection and Success 

How do you define yourself as someone successful in your dating life? By having three romantic partners at a go? By committing to one partner? Who’s more successful? The guy who dates 10 strippers at one go or the guy who commits to a long term relationship with one girl who he really enjoys being with.

It’s easy to get sidetracked into the ego boost or validation. After all these years, I’m still amazed at how poorly I choose my romantic partners at times, after all, our minds are filled with unreliable biases.

Take the average guy improves this area of his life by learning social skillsets. Not before long, he understands that dating and romantic relationships can be generated through his own actions and it’s not something that’s left to fate or circumstances.

“Self-development” is working out for him.

Through his newfound social skills, he goes around pursuing women who he isn’t genuinely interested in but for the sake of bragging rights. Is it an improvement after all right? He went from zero dates to many dates that he’s shit bored of. Forget about the fact that he isn’t really enjoying himself on these dates.

Unfortunately, this, is a failure in itself, although he went from not dates to dates with girls that he feels “meh’ about. He’s still avoiding feeling vulnerable and at risk of being rejected by women that he’s genuinely interested in. The avoidance of this feeling is a failure it itself.

“It’s better to fail on a date with a girl you like, than to sleep with a girl you don’t enjoy being around with.”

 – Marcus Neo Kai Jie

You and I have both intrinsic and extrinsic motivators when it comes to our dating lives. External motivators such as physical beauty cannot be the only metrics of success. In the long run, internal values such as respect, trust and empathy make healthy and meaningful relationships. Even though I value physical beauty, it is not the only metric that I hold in my dating life.

This is why it’s important to define your own metrics of success in dating and relationships, not some arbitrary metric defined by society, self-development or pick up artist communities.

The Art of Presenting Your Ideal Self

There’s probably this one girl or guy at work or school that you’re obsessing or thinking about. You probably do not dare to ask him or her out… and it has been months. You start dreaming of a perfect scene… you and her walking down the wedding aisle and you so desire that ONE person as your boyfriend or girlfriend.

I, like you, and millions out there once spent the good part of my teenage life fantasizing over ONE partner. Taking months to speak to her, and then taking years to ask her out. The better way to tackle this is not to obsess over one partner but to constantly present your ideal self. It is to constantly focus on becoming the ideal version of yourself.

That’s where self-improvement comes in. When you focus on presenting the best version of yourself to the world, something that is immediately controllable, when the right person at the right time comes into your life, you’re more than prepared.

When you’re out on a date, instead of worrying if she likes you, sit back and evaluate if she has the values and traits you’re looking for. This way you relieve pressure on yourself. You actually enjoy your dates and don’t have have a need to impress him or her.

Jun 12

How to Get Good at Dating Fast – Models of Learning

By Marcus Neo | Attraction

There are two different ways to learn: 1) I am going to learn how to code. I am going to learn to build a program. 2) The former, you start with a guidebook. The latter, you reverse engineer the process, and you learn to code on the go. The former is intellectualization, the latter, is skin in the game.

However, in modern life, you’re forced to start with the guidebook. You’re measured and judged by the guidebook. However, in the real world, you get real-world results through a guidebook (that may or may not be helpful).

To quote Elon Musk:

“Another principle is that it’s important to teach problem-solving or teach to the problem rather than the tools. Let’s say, we’re trying to teach people about how engines work. You could start by teaching all about screwdrivers and wrenches, having courses on screwdrivers and wrenches, and that’s a very difficult way to do it. A much better way would be like ‘here’s the engine, how are we going to take it apart? Well, we need a screwdriver, and a wrench, and so on.’ And then, a very important thing happens, which is that the relevance of the schools becomes apparent.”

The Bottom-Up Approach

I don’t buy the entire argument that learning can only be done from bottom up. However, bottom-up is one of, if not the best way to learn. Philosophy and psychology became a lot more interesting when I had skin in the game. I desired the outcome of being a thought leader in the dating advice industry. Reading David M Buss’s book on evolutionary psychology with academic graphs became a lot more bearable.

Fundamental probability and statistics came alive after I had to construct a model for my paid advertising campaigns (real hard cash). I also started tracking the financial performance of the company month to month, making use of financial ratios in my first year in accounting school: return on assets and return on investment to name a couple. Finance and accounting became alive overnight; not some paper you do just you’ll make an A for your paper.

The Value I Place on Research and Science

My views on have changed on researched advice. There are many coaches or authorities with stellar academic backgrounds and theoretical arguments. There is much advice dished out based on ‘science’.

However, I’ll argue a lot of them lack skin in the game. I define skin in the game as the bridge between advice based on research and real-world outcomes. I started out this blog documenting my personal growth and hoping to monetize a skillset I was passionate about.

For a period of time, I decided to remove my personality from the writing and bank on psychologically researched advice to do the talking. If it’s researched, it must work, right? I even signed up for a psychology degree in hopes of furthering my authority in this area.

However, the social sciences are arguably ‘soft’ and you have authorities like Nassim Taleb labelling disciplines such as Economics and Psychology total b.s.

Nonetheless, I don’t place too much emphasis on academic research, even though they can act as useful heuristics and guidelines.

Ultimately, my readers and clients have rarely commented on my ‘lack of research’. They always bought from me because I reasonated.

May 08

Statistics, Love, Dating and Relationships – Don’t Take Things Personally

By Marcus Neo | Attraction

If you’re actively attempting to better your dating life by approaching and trying to get more ‘leads’ into your phone. Sooner or later you’re going to realize that dating is a numbers game. It’s a game of statistics.

Statistics and Love

If you make it a point approach 3 women every day, that’s 90 women a month. Let’s assume out of 10 women, you get a strong ‘lead’. That’s 1 out of 10. That’s also 9 strong leads to work within a month, just from approaching 3 new women a day. This can be from your social circle, cold approaches, Tinder or just about any avenue.

It’s in human psychology to overvalue the bad than the good.

A couple of months ago I had a friend told me he’ll never be my business partner because I was too profit driven (I was profitable and he wasn’t). One week later, another friend told I’ll make the best business partner because I was accountable would ensure the company makes a profit. Statistically, that’s 50%. However, due to human psychology, the first person’s opinion hurt more than the second.

I find this human effect similar in business and other areas of life. If you went out and approached a 100 women, 10 of them that you’re extremely attractive and 90 of them told you that you’re an asshole, you’re going start thinking that you’re an asshole without valuing the fact that 10 out of a 100 though you’re extremely attractive. That’s just human nature.

Don’t take things Personally

These days I learned not to take things personally, in business or in dating.

I get rejected a ton (if any tells you otherwise, they are bullshitting you) and I get labels and opinions on me as a person. They can range from miserly, to foolish, to smart to ‘X’ personality trait.

In social psychology, there’s an argument that people behave accordingly to their situations, as opposed to their innate personality trait. They may be reacting in jest, or merely under those circumstances. There’s nothing you need to take personally, especially so if it’s from a stranger.

Now, I’m not saying that you need to go out being an asshole. However, a basic grasp of statistics can help you behave wisely and accordingly. Through the years I get a couple of negative comments on how I handle certain areas of my life. However, if I looked at feedback objectively, half of the people I interact may think I’m an asshole, half of the world is going to think otherwise. Statistically speaking, if half the world thinks you’re an asshole, you’re still doing fine. You can’t please everyone.

How to Attract Women
Jul 23

How to Attract Women – The Psychologically Researched Guide

By Marcus Neo | Attraction

I’ve nerded out on tons of dating, relationship, pick up artist advice on how to attract women. Some advice said to tease her, some said to ignore her, some said to do it directly, some say to text her only after X number of days, some say you got to be ‘masculine’. When I started out, It was all really confusing to me, I needed a clear model that is replicable across cultures and different demographics of women.

There is a couple of school of thoughts from evolutionary to social psychology, just like all of the social sciences, there’s no one fit all answer. However, what are some principles one can adopt to be attractive to women across all cultures.

How to Attract Women – The Universality of Status                              

Psychological research shows that there’s one universal denominator that women find desirable across all cultures, ethnicities, age groups and socio-economic standing and even in time periods.

The largest common denominator of what attracts women to men is men who are perceived to be of higher status around women.

Note, I used the word perceived, that’s because status is relative, and I’ll get into that later.

This is commonly known in the pick up artist community as being of higher status, or ‘demonstrations of higher value’. People also usually decide to pursue a relationship by weighing the value they see in another person, including qualities such as physical attractiveness, wit, interests and intelligence against their expectations of success in the relationship.

So, how do you become ‘high status’, then? Is it something that’s demonstrated through good looks, money and success?

That’s both true and untrue.

If you’re brought up like me in a conservative Asian culture, you’re probably told a hundred times to think that once you do well in school, get a good job, you’ll automatically be able to kill it when it comes to women. There’s a huge pressure for us Asian males who grow up in a culture that associates monetary achievement with success.

Not to mention that hot women are splashed over and associated with the majority of advertising campaigns. The bouncers at the clubs treat her nice, she gets social opportunities shoved in her face, she gets into clubs for free and everyone loves her… for being pretty. Admit it or not, these cultural narratives influence your confidence with women to a huge degree.

However, if money, looks and success are all it takes to attract women, then why do women all around the world find themselves flocking to the broke musician or the 6 pac-ed athlete?

If attraction is determined by purely monetary assets, then why do many wealth off males in developed cultures can’t lay a date to save their lives and resort to dating sites or prostitution? Why is it that a good portion of the female population in the world make romantic/sexual decisions with pretty average males and are okay with it?

The Relativity of Status: Looks, Money and Status

Welcome to the relativity of status.

Yes, looks, money and success are external signals of ‘status’. However, assuming you’re an average male are not born into a privileged family, you can’t rely on looks, money and success.

Wearing a Rolex watch, flaunting material wealth and boasting about it in a developed country will get you eye rolls. You’ll come off as insecure and try hard. However, if you go to less developed cultures, wearing a Rolex watch will be all you need to attract women.

Take a male who has a high paying job. He may be able to come up with silly jokes or one-liners may come off as confident. However, he’s in a job he hates. He does it please his parents, impress girls, or is saying those jokes to get validation from her. It’s not a genuine or authentic expression of his identity.

He’s still an unattractive male at the end of the day.

Whereas, a truly attractive man may not have the best lines, however, he’s authentic in his words and doesn’t try to impress anyone. He lives life on his own values, doesn’t try to impress anyone and is capable of standing up for himself.

He may not be as financially well off as the former. However, he is a leader and the former is a follower. From an evolutionary standpoint, who do you think women are attracted to?

So, how do you be of ‘high status’ to the girl? Is it accumulating money, looks and success? If material objects or social status aren’t the only measurements of your attractiveness to women. Then how can you truly measure how attractive you are to women?

Fortunately, research shows that YOU too can be attractive to women.

The Potential for Status

Interestingly, the potential for status is equally attractive with status itself.

This means that if your behaviour shows that you have the potential to be rich, famous, successful, it is equally attractive to being rich, famous and success already.

Personal experience backs this up as well. I had one of my best dating life as a broke, underperforming accounting student. Even though I was a broke and not really an academically stellar student. I was passionate about personal growth and trying out a bunch of activities from martial arts, music and travel. This zest for life rippled through all my interactions with women, and they took to it.

From personal experience, women in developed societies are educated and are able to finance their lifestyles independently on men. They aren’t exactly looking for wealth or prestige. I’ve dated women who told me that they can provide for themselves and are not looking for a guy to provide financially for them. Of course, minus the gold diggers.

In modern culture, there’s a there’s a huge value placed on external success such as prestige, jobs and wealth. It’s misconstrued that by racking up job security, cars, wealth, and prestige, it’ll automatically make you attractive to women.

Let’s just say women don’t spend their nights fantasizing of your bank account.

However, I’m not saying that you should not thrive to make money, get good grades or look good. They all help, just like academic success don’t translate directly to career success. However, the discipline to perform in school can be applied to similar skillsets required to attract women.

I’m saying that you shouldn’t be reliant on your monetary success to attract women. You also do need some money to go to social events, use public transport, put yourself in demographics, go out on dates, dress well and have your own place etc.

There’s also research pointing that self worth and social desirability are also factors that influence one’s attractiveness (read: not just your bank account)

On Dark Triads and Pick Up Artist Strategies

Yes, unfortunately, it works. I’m not going to be idealistic and say it doesn’t. There’s also research suggesting that dark triad traits can be helpful in short term mating strategies. These traits are namely narcissism, Machiavellianism and psychopathy.

However, just because something works doesn’t mean you need to adopt it. I don’t recommend such a philosophy. You are who you date. Research shows that people self selects similar values in relationships. People with similar values and self-esteem often end up together.  If you’re attempting to adopt dark triad ways of behaviour, don’t be surprised if you end up dating psychopathic women.

Our Behaviour as a Determinant of Being Attractive

Looks, houses and cars are all displays of external wealth, prestige and social status. These external displays of status can lead to attraction. However, assuming you’re not born rich, famous or you aren’t there yet, these variables are not directly in your control.

If external variables such as looks, money and social status can’t be controlled, at least immediately, what CAN be controlled then? That’s our behaviour. 

How does this play out? This can play out in obvious ways and subtle ways.

If you’re going to go to University and doing a degree because your parents, society or your friends think it’s a good idea too and you secretly hate it, it’s going to come off. If you’re getting that job just because ‘that’s what everybody does’. What does this say about you?

You’re a follower and not a leader. You’re not living a life based on your values and not at all being assertive in your life. You’re more concerned about what others think about you than what you think of yourself.

Secondly, if you’re basing your self esteem on external signals such as making a million dollars, popularity, factors that are out of your control, then you’re not going to be really attractive that’s because your self esteem is going to fluctuate based on these external variables.

For example, a rich banking executive may display external signs of prestige such as monetary success, cars and more. However, he may secretly resent his work and isn’t truly happy or satisfied with his lifestyle. Compare this to an entrepreneur running a small scale business. He may not be extremely rich, however, he bumbles passionately when pursuing his projects.

The first is a follower and the later is a leader.

From an evolutionary standpoint, which one will women be attracted to? The follower or the leader?

When you assert yourself and lead a life based on your values, you dress a certain way because it’s a genuine expression of yourself, you pursue a lifestyle that you enjoy and pursue projects that you feel passionate about. You’re a leader. From an evolutionary standpoint, you’ll be a reliant and dependable father can take care of her offspring. Hence, you’ll be attractive to her.

Note, there’s a difference between being assertive and being over domineering. If you go around not caring about social norms and not giving a fuck anybody, feeling like you need to dominate yourself in any social situations, then you’re not really a ‘true alpha right’ Someone who is truly confident doesn’t need to be right all the time. Being truly confident means you respect the boundaries and ideas of others, but at the same time, you’re not fazed if someone else disagrees with you or rubs you off negatively.

Ultimately, whether you’re born rich and famous or not, you’re still required to adopt attractive behaviours to be successful with women. There’s no way around this.

Now, let’s take at the second universal determinant on what attracts women.

Physical Arousal: The Desire to Be Desired

The one other universal determinant of female attraction is the desire to be desired. There is data and new conclusion suggesting that women are turned on by being wanted, by being desired. Personal experience backs this up, your single ability to be sexually assertive with women will determine 80% of your success with women.

If the perception of status leads her to be psychologically aroused, then the desire to be pursued leads her to be sexually aroused.

In laymen terms, the perception of status, psychological arousal, makes her want to be your girlfriend. However, sexual arousal, makes her want to have sex with you right there and then.

Women don’t light candles and lay in bathtubs fantasize about condominiums and cars. They fantasize about far stranger things. This goes against the conventional idea that female attraction is solely tied to ideas and displays of security, investment, and commitment.

This is why Fifty Shades of Grey sold millions of copy all around the world. It’s literally porn for women. Why does a woman get turned off by the man who asks for permission when taking off her clothes, but get turned on by the male who doesn’t hesitate in the bedroom. Why are women reported to have rape fantasies?

So what does all of this mean for you and me?

If you’re afraid to ask her out, afraid to kiss her or afraid to touch her, it’s going to be a turn off for her. It means that your inability to assert yourself socially and sexually is going to turn her off. I can’t tell you the number of times I screwed this aspect up, in tons of micro ways possible.

In many cultures around the world such as the Asian culture, there are cultural narratives to reserve your advances when pursuing a girl. This is a narrative that I told myself for YEARS, SEVERELY deliberating my success with women. It was only when I started behaving in a more dominant manner, that I started getting more results.

Your Intentions: The Why Behind Your Behaviour

So Marcus, what you’re saying is that all I got to do is to show that I’m of ‘higher status’ and tell that I want to have sex with her right there and then? NO. Intentions aren’t covered by the majority of dating and relationship community. That’s because partly intentions are hard to describe and put a finger down to.

It’s NOT about ‘not giving a fuck’ and not caring about social norms and going up to grope her in broad daylight. It’s about pushing the interaction forward in an assertive but respectful manner.

Intentions are the ‘WHY’ behind your behaviour. In life, what motivates your behaviour is equally as important as the behaviour itself. It is also a determinant if your behaviour is truly confident or you’re trying to be confident.

Think about it, you ever hung out with someone who was trying way too hard to be cool? You probably felt turned off and slightly disgusted right? If you’re complimenting a girl just because you think she wants to hear it, it’ll probably turn her off. This is why men in bars who trade alcohol for attention fail miserably night after night. His behaviour or the surface may come off as high status but his intentions are way off.

When in doubt, always check your intentions.

It’s always good to ask yourself:

Is what you say to her authentic, a genuine expression of your desire for her? Or are you saying it because you read it a book somewhere that it is a good idea to?

This is why lines and a lot of the pick up artist literature can be limiting in the long run.

This is why memorizing lines and then mouthing it off like a robot ultimately going to come off as un-confident behaviour. You’re using these lines, routines and strategies because you’re inherently unconfident as a person.

The Primer on Sexual Shame

Having social skills and being extraverted also doesn’t mean that you’re automatically great with women. I was an extravert during my late teens, I still got nowhere with women. In fact, I was really inhibited when moving my interactions to anything sexual. You can be social with everyone, however, if you freak you when it comes to talking to a girl you’re into, then being Mr Popular still isn’t going to get you anywhere. This is why I’ll like to talk a little more about sexual confidence, in particular, sexual shame.

80% of your success is going to be determined by your ability to assert yourself physically and socially with women.  The majority of this attracting women this is actually about unlearning behaviours, being more in touch with your psychological maps than actually adding on more ‘attraction’ behaviours.

There’s also an over emphasize on how to get a woman attracted. Secondly, attraction is barely enough, she can be attracted to you, yet her life circumstances (she has a boyfriend) makes it difficult for anything between you and her to happen. The majority of people get together due to other reasons such as proximity (and other social reasons). other than being sexually attracted itself.

Now, back to sexual shame. Sexual shame is rooted in one’s inability to be sexually assertive. Sexual shame is feeling guilty, bad or worthless when expression or asserting your sexual/ emotional desires/ needs.  This can be rooted in many factors such as cultural influences, past traumas such as overly strict upbringing or poor relationship with your parents.

This is also something the majority of pick up artist/dating advice community do not talk about. This is why you don’t go up to talk to her. This is you’re afraid to touch her after she has given you a thousand green lights on a date. This is why guys that mouth out: ‘I’m going to kiss you now’, and then attempt to kiss her is a universally unattractive statement.

How to Go Forward from Here: Something You’re Proud Of

There is no way about this. Yes, you’ll get rejected. You’ll get rejected a lot. However, if you’re looking to have independence and choice in your dating life, then this you got to get this skillset down.

I was hanging out with a couple of friends who are into ‘pick up’ and they asked me: what do your friends and parents think about this? I simply say I’m honest about it. I tell them that I used to suck at this, I started reading a couple of books and that’s how I got the ball rolling.

Is attracting women something you should be proud of and something you invest in it? Is it something you can tell your parents, sibling, friends and colleague about? From what I observed, a lot of people getting into this dating advice thing (especially in Singapore) don’t see it this way. I boil it down to a couple of reasons:

  • Certain cultures, especially Asian
  • They think it’s a game: they are TAKING something from the girl

I’ll let you in on a funny story. Whilst I was coaching last month, I demonstrated a live interaction for him. The interaction went well. Well, because he’s new this, he actually mouthed off to one of the girls:

‘I’m here with Marcus, he’s teaching me how to talk to girls’.

It was a huge facepalm moment. Needless to say, the girls wanted to chase me away.

‘Why are you still talking to us? Why don’t you follow your friend and teach him how to talk to more girls?’

At this point, you may see this as a ‘shit test’. To be honest. Fuck shit tests. What’s the difference between a shit test and a girl genuinely doubting you? In this case, these girls were GENUINELY doubting me.

What could I have said at that moment?

I simply said: ‘Well, he’s my client and I’m teaching him. Don’t you think some guys need help in this area of your life? Would you want a cool, socially intelligent guy talking to you when you’re in the club? I happen to once suck in this area of my life as well, that’s why I had to learn it, just like he did.

The fact that I was unapologetically about my interaction, we continued talking and we exchanged contacts.

Through the years I came across clients that were somehow ashamed of this area of their life. I guess this is the Asian culture. However, fundamentally, of all dating advice is self improvement. This includes getting other areas of your life down. This means your job, maximizing your income, surrounding yourself with friends you liked around you and building self awareness.

You’re also going to have a far better batting average by taking care of 1) how you present yourself 2) what you talk about and your ability to communicate interest in a socially savvy way. This way, every single interaction you have is optimized for success.

This way, you are attracting women from a position of self investment. This means coming from a place of boldness and empathy. This means being proud of the fact that you’re walking up to her and creating an opportunity for both of you. That’s what you want to be gunning for in the long run: long term true confidence.

Boldness balanced out with empathy is an effective way to pursue women. 

When you pursue women in an open and authentic manner, it’ll force you to force you to overcome your shame, shape you to become more comfortable with your sexuality. It’ll shape you to become truly confident. This isn’t only about something that you do, it’s now something that you are.

Works Cited

Manson, M. (2017). Models. Sydney, N.S.W.: Macmillan.

Buss, D. M. (n.d.). The Evolution of Desire. Retrieved September 01, 2017, from Academia.Edu: https://www.academia.edu/325352/The_Evolution_of_Desire

Jonason, P. K., LI, N. P., & Buss, D. M. (2010). The Costs and Benefits of the Dark Triad: Implications for Mate Poaching and Mate Retention Tactics. Personality and Individual Differences, 4, 373-378.

Locke, D, K., Horowitz, & M, L. (1990). Satisfaction in interpersonal interactions as a function of similarity in level of dysphoria. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 58(5), 823-831.

Ph.D., N. S. (2013, August 22). What Do Women Really Want? Retrieved August 29, 2017, from PsychologyToday.Com: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-therapy/201308/what-do-women-really-want

Yang, W. (2011, July 29). Sex, Lies and Data Mining. Retrieved February 27, 2019, from New York Times: https://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/31/books/review/a-billion-wicked-thoughts-by-ogi-ogas-and-sai-gaddam-book-review.html?pagewanted=all

Ineichen, B. (1979). The social geography of marriage. In M. Cook & G. Wilson (Eds.), Love and attraction. New York: Pergamon Press.