Can dating agencies in Singapore help you find your perfect partner?
It can seem ideal, the hopes of meeting Mr or Mrs perfect who is recommended by a ‘trusted’ someone or company. All you got to do is to pay the bills, show up and things will magically fall into place. However, reality often doesn’t pan out that way.
My first female client as a dating coach actually confided in me that she had invested a considerable amount of money in dating agencies in Singapore, but had to resort to a 2 hour coaching session with yours truly, who was almost half my age.
She’s the CEO of a non profit company and look at what she said about me:
‘Your without-thinking (ie the truth) answer when I asked if I needed to lose some weight, was amsuing and also a light-bulk moment. Your immediate response, without even a tinge of hesitation or incorporating some diplomacy, certainly caught my attention and this matter certainly moved higher up on the to-do lists’.
You can click the link to see the exact email.
Simply put, during the 2 hour consultation, I was quite forthright in my advice. I told her that maybe the problem is you. Now, I know that sounds antagonistic, however, let’s consider your position.
She’s a 40 year old, non profit CEO who works seven days a week and is looking to date someone of quality. So far, the majority of the men she met through dating agencies are either too loser-ish, or isn’t responsive.
Economics, Demand and Supply and Dating Agencies
There’s an ugly truth about dating. It’s all about economics, demand and supply. Remembered your time in secondary school where there are only a couple of of beautiful girls in your cohort and almost every single guy were ogling, or found themselves infatuated with the same couple of girls. There you go. Demand and supply. Men aren’t the only ones facing this problem, it’s the same for women as well.
Let’s take a look at her possible dating demographic:
- Successful 40 year old men
Someone who’s successful in their 40s is probably in middle to high level management. If he’s single, you’re going to BET your life that he has a ton of dating opportunities. There’s research suggesting that a men’s most sexually attractive age is in his 40s.
You’re going up against an army of competition. Not to mention now he has the financial security. You’re going up against other single women, beautiful young teenagers with Daddy issues, golddiggers and the list goes on…
- Unsuccessful 40 year old men
She said that she doesn’t want unsusccesful 40 year old men, that’s because she’s the CEO her own company. Which CEO of his or her own company wants to date unsucessful partners?
Okay, now, looking at her demographic, do you think there are going to be more successful 40 year old me or unsucessful 40 year old men in dating agencies? You bet it’s the latter. Look, I’m not here to be politically correct, dating agencies in Singapore, you’re free to send me the hate mail.
So, by limiting her choices only to dating agencies… you’re going to bet that she isn’t going to get any outcome.
The Invisible Scripts: Singaporeans Using a Dating Agency
Here’s my verdict of Singaporeans that use dating agencies: you’re just trying to solve your problems with money. In my experience, Singaporeans having problems in their dating life are lazy and closed minded. They won’t make the effort to step out of their comfort zone, dress up, hit the clubs on the weekends just to better their dating life. They’d complain all day, but never put in any time or effort in this area of their life.
There’s a difference between paying someone $100 per hour to sit across a table with an unknown stranger VERSUS:
- Learning social skills that’ll help you spark connections in your life
- Understanding your own psychology and why you make poor relationship choices from time to time
- Doing the necessary work so you’ll finding yourself in empowered in your dating life and relationship
If you’re constantly fucking up in your relationships and ending up with dating agencies, or too busy to go out on dates, or *insert your excuses here*, what makes you think you’ll actually be able to build a functional and passionate relationship with someone you met through some random online portal?
Furthermore, these so called experts in dating agencies are just dishing quite quick fix, superficial advice that DOESN’T WORK. On my end here at MarcusNeo.Com, I test all my methods in real life, record some of them down on video and have am able to walk the talk.
Secondly, when you’re using dating agencies to hopefully meet someone, you’re NOT developing yourself as a person, you just filling up a resume, hoping you show up and do well on a date. Have you changed your your lifestyle, psychology, conversational skills? NO. You’ve NOT made any effort to develop conversational skillsets, overcome sexual anxiety, fix your issues, develop social intelligence and confront of that difficult issues that brought you to a dating agency in the first place. Sorry bro, you’ll be that EXACT same person who needed a middleman to fix you a date on a Friday night.
To quote some wise person: If you give a man a fish for a day, he’ll eat for a day. If you teach a man how to fish, he’ll eat for a lifetime.
If you aren’t a well developed individual, by relying on dating agencies, you won’t build the required knowledge and skillsets required to form get to increase your dating opportunities, much less build lasting and exciting relationships. You’re also severely limiting your dating pool.
So what happens when the relationship fails? Are you going to go back to the agency and ask for a refund? If your relationship fails, are you going to go back to the dating agency and try to fix more dates?
I say: screw dating agencies. Go out, master your dating and social skills, master your psychology, and put yourself out there. This shit can be learnt. Not only can it be learnt, it’s also going to play a huge role in your success in other areas of your life.
Show me a job that doesn’t require you to communicate effectively to another party? Right, here’s your answer: none. No matter what you do, even if you’re a low level executive, you’ll need to communicate your boss, your colleagues, clients, your suppliers, distributors and the list goes on. If you’re in sales, entreprenuership, you’ll need to have the ability to negotiate and assert yourself.
Let’s assume your goal is to join a dating agency and settle down. What makes you think he or she is going to marry you after looking at your self published resume that a middleman arranged?
Even if he or she marries you right there and then on the spot, do you know how to keep the relationship ongoing and exciting? Do you know what entails a healthy, affectionate and respectful relationship? No, you don’t. That’s because you haven’t bothered to learn, you may still see it as something that is on a checklist on a box.
This will play itself out through all your relationships. You won’t have the skills or courage to assert yourself, stand up to your crappy boss. You’ll never fix that broken relationship with Mum and Dad. You’ll never know how to make new friends on the go, and you’ll be dependent and fearful of losing the same group of friends you knew since you were 13.
You’ll never be in a position of power in your own circumstances.
It’s unfortunate that the majority don’t see the bigger picture in taking the more difficult (but more fulfilling) route of self development. It’s holding themselves fully responsible for their dating lives that people are afraid of. You can also dismiss the research that shows that relationships contribute to huge part of happiness in your life, and continue to ignore this area of your life.
Or, you can learn to understand how this dating and relationship thing work.
Can Dating Agencies in Singapore Work at All?
Ultimately, I’ve never gone for a matchmaking service or used a dating agency in Singapore before. It’s just not for me. If you’re like me, you never want to live a life of quiet desperation where you end up with someone you’re not really excited about… and you call it ‘reality’. I always preferred building up social skillsets such that if I was in a social setting such as University or working for a company, I’m able to meet and date women through these social settings.
However, can dating agencies or matchmaking services work for you?
Personally, I think signing up for a dating agency is a form of courage as well. You’re still putting yourself out there on the dating market again. That takes courage. This can be especially helpful for the recently divorced and heartbroken. It takes some form of humility and courage to sign up for a match making service. You’re essentially saying: look I’m willing to get help from someone else.
So, kudos to you.
Either that, you’re already a well developed individual who just doesn’t have the time to talk to random club girls, or take part in social events, then maybe a customized dating agency can work for you. Lastly, if lady luck is on your side, who knows? You might may someone amazing through them.
Take Control and Check Out my No B.S Guides
Look, I’m a short 167cm tall Asian who wasn’t really good at school. I never once relied on online dating, because I know that I don’t have an edge there. I have NEVER EVER matched with a girl I actually am physically attracted to.
This is why I stay off all online dating apps, dating agencies or speed dating events.
I put in the work, read a bunch of pick up artist advice, invested in my own education, got professional coaching, mastered my social skills and am able to meet, date and attract women from all over the world, in almost any culture. I also spent countless nights in night clubs in my early twenties, testing researching and fining these methods.
Okay, if you’re convinced by my arguments, and have not given up in love. Then you’re in luck. You can check out my long form, no B.S., tough love guides that I spent years of testing and research to publish.
I show you in video that it can be done.
Yes, and stop renting one for chinese new year.
The psychologically researched guide, a 2000 word guide.
Okay, I understand most of my guides are tailored towards the male audience in Singapore. However, if you’re female and you’re reading this, you can privately reach out to me firstname.lastname@example.org for private coaching. If you’re a Singaporean dating agency and like to work with me with your clients, you can email me as well. If you’d like to send me hate mail, you’re more than welcome.