Hi, I’m Marcus,
Editor, founder of MarcusNeo.Com. This is my site, where I publish behavioral, dating and relationship insights.
I went to Hong Kong with a trip with my friends and we had an argument on text whilst I was there. She broke up with me through text. I officially had my first serious break up when I was 19. I was left rock bottom for next year or so. That was how I chanced upon the book ‘The Game’ and got obsessed with social skills and personal development.
For the typical Asian kid, you’ll consider your chances with women as an area of life that is left purely to luck and fate. However, understanding that fundamentally you can change your behavior, hence your results in your dating and relationship life fueled me on a journey. I spent the next year Googling tactics, downloading eBooks, flipping through one dating theory after another, trying out ‘negs’ and all sorts of techniques. You ever saw that handshake and spin ‘opener’? Yes, I did that as well.
That didn’t all work.
Things only starting piecing together when I started expressing myself authentically. I figured, if I really needed all those lines and trickery, I must be one hell of an unconfident individual. So gradually, I improved. One thing lead to another, I took an interest in psychology, entrepreneurship, and blogging.
Through the years, I changed my philosophy from pick up literature to practical and psychologically researched strategies. Today, I found a model that’s emotionally sustainable. One that feels good, and is ethical and effective. I also figured that a lot of it is actually getting good at your own emotions: emotional intelligence. Lines, techniques are all superficial details. It has always been about becoming more comfortable with our sexuality and nothing else.
Initially, my goals were to get into stocks and finance, you know, the typical Asian route. Hence, I signed up for an accounting and finance degree. However, I was disinterested and preferred reading up on psychology and entrepreneurship.
I found myself reading up on behavioral change and psychology and took an immense interest in it.
I also spent a lot of time collating ideas, started a blog documenting the process. That led to a couple of in-person clients in Singapore. I started a couple of websites and had the pleasure of coaching University students, working professionals in Singapore. You can take a look at some of my student’s testimonials.
The majority of what you hear and read on mainstream media, YouTube and books such as ‘The Game’ isn’t really practical or sustainable. I had to figure this out the hard way. That’s because Singapore is a collectivistic Asian culture. I needed a model that is grounded, not flashy. You see this in the form of people going for crazy spins in the clubs. Whilst this is great for YouTube, it paints an unrealistic picture of how social interactions and functional, healthy relationships actually work.
You can’t objectify human communication. This is why two different people saying the exact lines can result in two completely reactions. Think about the last time someone bragged to you and you can kind of get that feeling that he’s bragging. It’s not about what and how you say it, it’s about why you say it.
I haven’t got anything against using lines and techniques as training wheels. I used to rely on them as well. They can be used as a crutch initially. However, you’ll need to learn how to use your own stories and your own personality to connect with others. If you’re going to treat everyone else an object, then, needless to say, you’re not going to get far.
Here at MarcusNeo.Com, our philosophy is approaching our relationships from a standpoint of ethics, courage, boldness, and vulnerability.
I also think failure and rejection are inevitable. I get rejected, a lot. If anyone out there claims that he doesn’t get rejected, he’s marketing you a lie. Everybody gets rejected and fails, rich, famous, smart or not. Nobody has it down all the time. However, rejection and pain are normal and necessary. I’ll even argue that they are helpful to an extent.
I’m born and raised from the heartlands in Singapore. The initial goal was to find strategies that work universally, regardless of country or culture. They need to be applicable in both Western to Asian cultures. This was why I looked into psychology, the study of human behavior. On this site, I borrow quite a bit from psychology. I back up the content using research and real-world experience. I also use a lot of first-hand real-life stories of my own.
Ultimately, being successful at dating or in your relationships is a habit. It doesn’t occur through a three-day self-help seminar. You aren’t going to build a habit doing it this way.
This is where I also don’t really buy the usual rah rah self help movement. I’ll ask you, how many people sign up for expensive seminars, pay for some expensive program, go home, come back a year later with nothing much to show in their life? Well, that’s the majority. You probably felt good for that one weekend and found yourself returning to your old self after two weeks. Unlike all other self-help gurus and self-proclaimed ‘inner game’ masters tell you, psychological research shows that there’s no way to rewire your anxieties than to go replace them with higher order habits.
If anyone out there claims that he doesn’t get rejected, he’s marketing you a lie. Everybody gets rejected, even the best in the world. I used to hate admitting this because I thought it’ll hurt my marketing, but admitting this also liberate me to be more honest with my clients and my brand.
There are experts out there claims you can you what you want in money, relationships without facing any rejection or hurdle.
Either that, gurus shell out slipshod advice such as ‘just be positive’. However, rejection, pain, loss, grief, negative emotions are normal and healthy. I’ll even argue that they are even necessary and helpful to an extent. You’re not suppose to deny nor suppress negative emotions, but to accept them and integrate them.
I can write kick ass articles on how to attract women that are 3000 words long and heavily researched. However, honestly, I don’t have it down all the time.
Let me ask you, how many people sign up for expensive self help seminars, pay some expensive coach, go home, come back a year later with nothing much to show in their life?
Well, that’s the majority. I once also paid for dating coach who didn’t do demonstrations. If you ever pay for dating advice, make sure he’s able to minimally demonstrate!
Secondly, the advice I put out on this site is backed up by decades of psychological research and I don’t make claims that can’t be backed up by data. You’ll find multiple citations on my articles, throughout my articles. I also use my own first-hand real life stories as examples and case studies. I also don’t write advice that I don’t use in may own life, or haven’t tested.
The idea of self development stems from the idea that you’re dissatisfied with certain circumstances in your life. However, there’s a problem there. How can you ever feel ‘enough’, if you’re always trying to improve yourself? Isn’t that the point of self development: to feel enough?
I rip the hell out of Joe Siegel, a Singaporean photographer.