Hi, I’m Marcus, editor, founder of MarcusNeo.Com. This is my site, where I publish dating advice for men and relationship insights.
I went to Hong Kong with a trip with my friends and we had an argument on text whilst I was there. She broke up with me through text. I officially had my first serious break up when I was 19. I was left rock bottom for next year or so. That was how I chanced upon the book ‘The Game’ and got obsessed with social skills and personal development.
For the typical Asian kid, you’ll consider your chances with women as an area of life that is left purely to luck and fate. However, understanding that fundamentally you can change your behavior, hence your results in your dating and relationship life fueled me on a journey. I spent the next year Googling tactics, downloading eBooks, flipping through one dating theory after another, trying out ‘negs’ and all sorts of techniques. You ever saw that handshake and spin ‘opener’? Yes, I did that as well.
That all didn’t work.
Things only starting piecing together when I started expressing myself assertively and authentically. I figured, if I really needed all those lines and trickery, I must be one hell of an unconfident man. So gradually, I improved. One thing lead to another, I took an interest in helping men in this area. I also learned about psychology, entrepreneurship and how to start a blog.
Through the years, I changed my philosophy from pick up literature to practical and psychologically researched strategies. Until, I found a model that’s emotionally sustainable. One that doesn’t stress you out 24/7, is ethical and effective. I also figured that a lot of getting good at dating is actually getting good at your own emotions: emotional intelligence. Lines, techniques are only part of the equation. The bigger goal is about becoming more comfortable with our sexuality.
Initially, my goals were to get into stocks and finance, you know, the typical Asian route. Hence, I signed up for an accounting and finance degree. However, I was disinterested and preferred reading up on psychology and entrepreneurship. I found myself reading up on behavioural change and psychology and took an immense interest in it. I also spent a lot of time collating ideas and started a blog documenting the process.
I have also travelled to Europe, the United States (New York, San Francisco and Los Angelos) and different parts of Asia, solo. I have also attempted to build a dating life whenever I am abroad. This means cold approaching in cultures that I barely know and doing it all by myself. I believe not many Asians (in the world for that matter) have such an experience.
The blogger led to a couple of in-person clients in the dating coach for men industry in Singapore. I started a couple of websites and had the pleasure of helping men from University students to working professionals in Singapore. You can take a look at some of my student’s testimonials. The site has also been proudly seen on mainstream media outlets in Singapore such as Channel 8 and ChannelNewsAsia.
2020 update: I decided in 2020 that I’ll like to take on international clients and market to the dating coach for men industry at large. The site has also touched on subjects outside of the usual attracting women stuff, but broader topics such as values, dealing with depression and boundaries. The fundamentals of self development and communication can be applied across all areas of life.
A good portion of what you hear and read on mainstream media, YouTube and books such as ‘The Game’ isn’t really practical or sustainable. I had to figure this out the hard way. That’s because Singapore is a collectivistic Asian culture. I needed a model that is grounded and not flashy. You see this in the form of people going for crazy spins in the clubs. Whilst this is great for YouTube, it paints an unrealistic picture of how social interactions actually work. Not to mention if you’re looking for functional, healthy relationships that actually work.
You can’t completely objectify human communication. This is why two different people saying the exact lines can result in two completely reactions. Think about the last time someone bragged to you and you can kind of get that feeling that he’s bragging. It’s not about what you say, it’s about how and why you say it.
I haven’t got anything against using lines and techniques as training wheels. I use to rely on them as well. They can be used as a crutch initially. However, you’ll need to learn how to use your own stories and your own personality to connect with others in the long run.
If you’re going to treat everyone else an object, then, needless to say, you’re not going to get far. Here at MarcusNeo.Com, our philosophy is approaching our dating life from a standpoint of ethics, boldness and empathy.
Failure and rejection are inevitable. I get rejected, a lot. If anyone out there claims that he doesn’t get rejected, he’s marketing you a lie. Everybody gets rejected and fails, rich, famous, smart or not. Nobody has it down all the time. However, rejection and pain are normal and necessary. I’ll even argue that they are helpful to an extent.
If anyone out there claims that he doesn’t get rejected, he’s marketing you a lie. Everybody gets rejected, even the best in the world. I used to hate admitting this because I thought it’ll hurt my marketing, but admitting this also liberate me to be more direct with my clients and in my brand.
Nobody has it down 100% of the time. I can write kick ass articles on how to attract women that are 3000 words long and heavily researched. However, honestly, I don’t have it down all the time.
There are experts out there claims you can you what you want in your life without facing any rejection or hurdle. That’s 100% bullshit. Either that, gurus shell out slipshod advice such as ‘just be positive’. However, rejection, pain, loss, grief, negative emotions are normal and healthy. I’ll even argue that they are even necessary and helpful to an extent. It’s better not to deny nor suppress negative emotions, but to accept them and integrate them.
Field testing is king. You need to go out and apply. You need to test out the lines and theories. I once paid for dating coach who didn’t do demonstrations. If you ever pay for dating advice, make sure he’s able to minimally demonstrate a cold approach or two.
Secondly, I try to back the site up with research and I don’t make claims that can’t be backed up by data. You’ll find multiple citations on my articles, throughout my articles. I also don’t publish advice that I don’t use in may own life, or haven’t tested.
The majority of self help and dating advice were written in the Western context. Hence, I had to find strategies that work regardless of country or culture. They needed to be applicable in both Western to Asian cultures. I also took an interest in psychology: the study of human behavior through the years. In some of my articles, I borrow quite a bit from psychology. I try my best to back up the content using research and first-hand real-life experience and stories of my own.
I don’t really buy the usual rah rah self help stuff.
I’ll ask you, how many people sign up for expensive seminars, pay for some expensive program, go home, come back a year later with nothing much to show in their life? Well, that’s a good percentage. You probably felt good for that one weekend and found yourself returning to your old self after two weeks. Unlike all other self-help gurus and self-proclaimed ‘inner game gurus’ tell you research shows that there’s no way to rewire your anxieties than to go replace them with higher order habits.
Ultimately, being successful at dating life or in your relationships is a habit. It doesn’t occur through a three-day self-help seminar. You aren’t going to build a habit doing it this way.
Through the years, I published quote a bit on investing and finance. I also diverted out into self development at large. In 2020, I decided to fully focus the site back on helping men in the dating advice industry.
I rip the hell out of Joe Siegel, a Singaporean photographer.