I ended talking to a beautiful girl from Thailand whilst going clubbing out one weekend. However, she didn’t want to go back with me on meeting the first night with me in the club stating that she and her friend had somewhere else to go. She also mentioned to me on text that she didn’t want to go home with a guy she just met in the club. I followed up on the lead and she and I hooked up eventually, in 2 dates.
The First Date
I was pretty judgmental about her background. There’s a common conception that a Thai girl working in Singapore of being somehow related to the sex industry. I wasn’t really proud of bringing her out in public, or to date her like I would with a ‘normal Singaporean girl’. Now, you probably think I’m an asshole. However, despite your judgments, I’m pretty you might have done similarly.
She and I texted back and forth a little and I planned for a date at a reservoir.
Well, aside from the negative judgments, I felt my quite well justified in my actions. I wasn’t really interested in dating her. She’s hot. She can barely speak English. It was quite hard communicating with her. There was nothing going on for both of us other than the fact that we wanted to fuck each other brains out. If you’re just interested in having sex with someone, then there’s no need to date exclusively.
I drove her out to the reservoir. She was pretty loud and aggressive in the car. In hindsight, that could be just her personality and style of getting her points across, however, I wasn’t having any of it at that point of time.
I was tired from hitting the gym gym and had spent a day rushing school work. I brought her to the reservoir, which, in my opinion, is one of the most scenic spots in Singapore in the night. She wasn’t really that impressed. She was also quite sarcastic about how beautiful the place was. That ticked me off the wrong way. This was just 10 minutes into the date. It isn’t going well. I guess nature isn’t for everyone.
She then started asking me questions about my trip to Bangkok a year ago. She asked if I’ve been with any Thai girl. I said Yes. She was quite surprised at my answer. She then said something along the lines that I was just a naughty boy that went to Thailand just to ‘fuck Thai girls’. To make things worse, the way she said it was quite judgmental and aggressive.
I wasn’t having any of it. I was obviously turned off and quite pissed off. I wanted to leave immediately.
This was 15 minutes into the date.
I’ve never walked away on a date. There was once I went out with Singaporean banker who did nothing in front of me but used Snapchat. Despite the fact that she wasn’t able or willing to put in any amount of effort in communicating genuinely. I still stayed on. I’ve been on dates where the girl wouldn’t kiss me, or wouldn’t reciprocate and I still stayed on and never walked away.
For some reason, I stopped giving a fuck. I asked her for her address and told her I’ll send her home. I’m sending her home not because I wanted to be gentlemen, but because I promised to when I set up the date. If not for that, I’ll probably would have just left her right there and walked off.
This was 20 minutes into the date.
If someone is judging me on my sexual history, being aggressive, highly sarcastic, then she’s not worth my time. She has crossed my boundaries.
She was quite shocked at the fact I was willing to walk away. I didn’t care about pissing her off. At that point of time, I didn’t care about the poor metrics set by the pick up artist community or bragging rights to my other friends. I didn’t care if I didn’t get laid and that’s one more notch down to prove to myself something. I just didn’t.
The Willingness to Walk Away
To my surprise, she stopped being aggressive and was quite sweet to me during the car ride home. I wasn’t quite sure about meeting up another time, but she was quite persuasive and sweet to me over text. So, I invited her straight to my place and the rest is history.
This taught me that being honest to a lady and honest to yourself is the best way to go about your dating life. It saves both parties time and effort. By putting your values and desires out there, you’re screening our for people that don’t fit your values at any point of time.
In this situation, if you’re nice to me, I’m just going to approach and meet another girl. It makes you non-needy around sex and willing to walk away at any point in time. In addition to that, investing in yourself by hitting the gym, pursuing academics or work can help you be less invested when a girl treats you horribly.
I might be a little arrogant for saying this, but within an hour or two I spend with a person, I’m quite sure or not I see myself as a long term relationship with her just by observing her habits. Then again, I might be wrong, some people take time to open up. Psychological research also show that different people have different ‘selfs’ in different social settings.