How to flirt with a girl? Flirting is one of the ways to generate attraction and add in sexual polarity your romantic interaction. Long time friends tease and make fun of each other all the time. Teasing her, and flirting is a great way to get to know a girl and build familiarity.
Learning how to flirt is also a charismatic means to escalating your interactions from a purely social one to a possible romantic or sexual one. If you want to be good a girls, learning how to to flirt with a girl is a key skill that should be inculcated into a habit in the long run.
How to Flirting with a Girl – How to Tease Her
- Embarrassing Physical or Personality Trait
One of the basics of flirting can be done through an observation about an embarrassing physical or personal trait in her, even if you’re just guessing and she doesn’t actually display that trait.
When you approach a girl, it is normally followed up with a cold read and you’ll state that she looks like a student, a nurse or something. You then can tease her about her job, current occupation or about her current mood or whatever she’s doing.
If she does something clumsy, or loud, or attention-seeking. You can tie the behaviour to a children’s character, or an immature youth and then expand on it to ridiculous proportions. It should also be done positively, and not negatively. That’s the difference between a tease and an insult.
“You are the sensible one, aren’t you? She’s always having dumb ideas and you have to make the decisions before everything goes disastrously wrong.”
“You’re a bad girl. She’s a nice girl – I can see it in her eyes. Your eyes are full of mischief. I don’t trust you. My mother warned me to stay away from girls like you.”
“You’re the older sister, right? Always watching the baby one and keeping her out of trouble.”
- Role Playing
Roleplaying is one of my favorite go tos to make the interaction fun and polarizing. My favorite one is the husband and wife and we’re going to get divorced role play. I use to milk this when I was starting out.
“We’re getting divorced, you’re keeping the kids, I get the TV and the music”
Other role plays dynamics can be girlfriend boyfriend dynamic, brother and sister, teacher and student and anything means a potentially romantic interaction. It’s interesting to introduce role plays because you can act out the role play, add in some physicality and at the same time, introduces sexual uncertainty into the interaction.
Not to mention that sexual uncertainty is researched to be arousing for a girl.
Stereotypes are fun to play with. If she is wearing spectacles, you can tease her about being nerdy. If she studying law, you can tease her about being snobbish.
“I have this idea that everyone from [her country] is [borderline racist stereotyping with humor].”
The technique of disqualification is based on the idea that by disqualifying yourself as a potential sexual partner, she’ll desire you more.
When you qualify yourself or her, you’re basically saying: I like you, that’s because I like some of your personality traits. However, when you disqualify a girl, you’re saying: it’s never going to happen between you and her.
Disqualification should be used based on context. For example, if you sense that your interaction with her is getting a little dry, you can add disqualification to mix things up. If you sense that she’s not comfortable with you, perhaps she doesn’t feel special enough. You then can add in some qualification based on her personality traits, passions and hobbies.
There was this interaction with this Korean girl at the club. I approached her with a direct approach. I held her cheeks in my hands and leaned in as if to examine her face. She seemed interested until the point where I threw in a disqualification.
“You look like my younger little sister”.
Her face changed immediately and she signalled her friend to walk away. In this case, I wasn’t congruent with my direct approach, where I approached her, expressing interest directly. Disqualification has its right time and place in a situation.
- The Basics of Push/Pull
The push-pull dynamic is a term coined by the pick up artist community to describe a technique of flirting.
The push is when you ‘push a girl away’ with a tease or a something negatively playful. For a push to work, you got to show that you’re actually half kidding. You also can’t be a slob. Imagine if a slob comes up to you and says something derogative about you. You’ll be turned off.
You hear a lot of advice talking about ‘not expecting a reaction’ or being ‘free from outcome’ from the girl. It means to tease her because you find it funny and fun and not to poke at her to get a reaction from her. It’s NOT about using it as a ‘technique’ or a ‘line’.
When a push is done right, she probably will laugh or gives you a shocked looked. You then pull by bringing her in physically with a hug around her shoulders or waist. It can be done with a smile and verbally saying ‘I’m kidding, you’re awesome’.
Only pushing in the interaction will leave her to think if you’re actually interested in insulting her. It’ll also demonstrate that you’re actually afraid of expressing your desire for her and that you’re using teases and banter as a way to cover up your lack of confidence.
The ‘pull’ is when you say something that reels her back in and displays interest. The push-pull dynamic sends mixed signals, intentions and girls find that fun and attractive.
The ‘pull’ is commonly known as ‘qualification’ in the pick up artist community. The pull is when you say: ‘I’m kidding, you’re cute’. It’s normally done after a ‘push’. This creates an “I love you, I hate you dynamic” which is arousing to girls.
If a girl I’m out on a date with says something smart, I could say: “You’re kind of a huge nerd. That’s really smart of you though, I don’t think many people have thought about that subject carefully.”
You see the push and the pull in one sentence? I’m calling her a nerd and saying it’s a good thing.
The pull also can be a qualification. You’re qualifying her for her personality traits that are non-physical. It makes her feel special that you’re not dating her just for her looks.
Can you actually make someone feel special just through words? Yes, you can. However, instead of using it as a technique, why don’t you just find something interesting about her, and appreciate her for it?
The idea of qualification is to screen a girl for non-physical traits that you value in a girl. You can do this as a technique, or as a strong boundary, you set for yourself in your life. Some of the traits that I value in a girl is intellectual curiosity, nurturance and kindness.
You can ‘screen’ a girl by asking her in a kind of doubtful tone about her personality traits. You can ask her about stuff that she does for fun, the books that she read, the movies that she likes.
It’s important for you to sit down and ask yourself what do you like and not like about people and girls in general. It’s to sit down, hammer out their boundaries, values and non-physical traits they like in a girl.
What are some non-physical traits that you would want in a girl? You can actively screen for these traits in your interactions with girls. Not only these demonstrate that you have standards, it also screens out girls that you actually enjoy being with.
Screening can also be used at the wrong time and place. One of the classic mistakes I see from the pick up artist community is guys asking women if she can cook in the middle of the club. It sounds retarded. It’s out of context. Just like disqualifaction, you need to use it in context.
Combining Verbals and Non Verbals
Just flirting with her verbally isn’t enough. You got to add physicality at some point of the interaction or she’ll sense that you’re not truly confident with your advances. The more attraction you have, the more girls are going to be shy and quiet around you, the more they’ll expect you to lead the interaction.
You can push her away with a tease and pull her back in physically with a shoulder hug or front hug. The push-pull can be used to flirt with a girl physically. Rinse and repeat this push-pull dynamic and you’ll get an emotionally charged interaction.
“Hi, I’m Marcus, you’re cute, what’s your name.”
“You look like you’re the fierce, independent type of girl, am I right?”
Just from delivering this two lines, one should tell her level of interest in interacting with you.
[Tease Verbally + Touch]
“Haha, so you’re one of those pretentious bankers with all that suit and tie. I’m just kidding, you’re awesome.” + Shoulder Hug.
Once her hands are on your shoulders or your shoulders on hers, you should just leave it there to see how comfortable she is with it. One of the golden rules of attracting women is to assume that you’ve known her for years.
This push-pull model can be rinsed and repeated in different variations during the initial phase of the interaction to build sexual tension.
Lastly, you can also go direct. Think about it, which truly confident male would resort to such lines and techniques to get physical with her? The truly confident male does it because he feels and wants to do it and doesn’t report to lines or methods to get there.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with the push and pull style of flirting, childish teases and coming up with role plays. However, these techniques can become repetitive and boring. Yes, qualification and disqualification can be used as techniques to fill sexual tension. However, you should be more comfortable with your own sexuality. If you like her, then express it directly, there’s no need for any fanciful flirting. You are a sexual man and you can show it.