How to get a girlfriend in Singapore? Or rather, how do you get your ideal girl as your girlfriend? One thing was clear when I started out: if I wanted to date the girls I desired, I had to do something about it, I had to become someone worth dating myself. That’s the simple and ugly truth. I read a ton of books, got a mentor and went out night after night, failed a lot and developed myself as a person.
How to Get a Girlfriend in Singapore
Firstly, recognise that dating and relationships are a skill set that can be learned. It’s not something that is left up to love, luck or fate. It’s also something consciously worked on day in and out. Social skills can be learned and personality be developed. If you’re not good looking or rich, don’t worry, I’m not either. However, you should be playing a game that nobody else is playing, a game that you can actually win and one that is a lot more fulfilling in the long run.
If you worked on your social skillsets, develop an attractive personality, go to the gym, dress well, you’re going to be far more successful in the long run. It’ll put you in a position of power and choice in your dating life. Furthermore, social skills is a life skill that will ripple through other aspects of your life.
In my experience, Singaporeans facing issues problems in their dating life that spend years single won’t make the effort to step out of their comfort zone. They’d complain all day but never put in any time or effort in this area of their life. They also end up with prostitutes, Thai discos, dating agencies or online dating applications. You have a choice here, you can visit Geylang, maybe Sammyboy forum, go to Thai Discos and blow $50 to ‘tiao hua’, meet a random somebody through a dating agency, matching making agency, swipe right and hope someone swipes you back on dating apps.
You can take control of your dating life in your hand through building social skillsets and it’ll that’ll also help in all other areas of your life.
When I started off, I’ll be honest with you, for a period of time, I obsessed on a single goal: to attract women. That single pursuit slowly morphed to entrepreneurship, personal growth through travel and leading a more varied life at large. I also developed an interest in subjects such as self-awareness, psychology and emotional fulfilment.
The Problem with Dating Agencies: Economics, Demand and Supply
Now, can dating agencies or matchmaking services work for you? Personally, I think signing up for a dating agency is a form of courage as well. You’re still putting yourself out there on the dating market again. That takes courage. This can be helpful for the recently divorced or heartbroken. It takes a form of humility and courage to sign up for a matchmaking service. You’re essentially saying: look I’m willing to get help from someone else. If lady luck is also on your side, who knows? You might meet someone amazing.
However, let’s take a look at the economics of going through such platforms. Firstly, you’re limiting yourself to only a certain demographic. Look, I’m not here to be politically correct, you’re free to send me the hate mail. You’re meeting women who aren’t successful in their dating lives as well. However, you’re highly unlikely to meet your ideal woman through these avenues. Not to mention that there’s absolutely zero excitement when you’re submitting a paper written by yourself to some stranger who presents it to another stranger. Romantic love doesn’t occur on a resume.
Ultimately, you’re still not solving the root of the problem.
If you don’t treat dating and relationships as a skillset, you’ll never know how to make new connections on the go and you’ll be dependent on the same group of friends you knew since you were 13 to hopefully introduce you to someone. You’ll never be in a position of power of your own circumstances.
To quote a cliche: If you give a man a fish for a day, he’ll eat for a day. If you teach a man how to fish, he’ll eat for a lifetime.
You aren’t getting your dating life handled as a skillset by relying on dating agencies, you won’t build the required knowledge to be independent in increasing your dating opportunities, much less build lasting and exciting relationships. You’ll also be severely limiting your dating pool. This is how millions end up with someone they are not really excited about… and call it ‘reality’.
So what happens if your arranged date doesn’t go the way you want it to go? You’re going to go back to the dating agency to pay for more dates or ask for a refund? Even if she marries you right there and then on the spot, do you know how to keep the relationship ongoing and exciting? Do you know what entails a healthy, affectionate and respectful relationship? No, you don’t.
Here’s my point, go out, develop social skills and put yourself out there. this shit can be learnt. Not only can it be learnt, but it’s also going to play a huge role in your success in other areas of your life.
Show me a job that doesn’t require you to communicate effectively to another human being? Here’s your answer: none. No matter what you do, even if you’re a low-level executive, you’ll need to communicate with your boss, your colleagues, clients, your suppliers, distributors and the list goes on. I built up my entire communication skillsets solely from learning how to talk to women.
Ultimately, to get a girlfriend or fix your dating woes it’s all about self improvement. It’s about holding yourself fully responsible for their dating life. There are tons of research that show that relationships contribute to huge part of happiness in your life. Hence, putting in time and effort to understand how this dating and relationship thing work is a positive thing. It’s also the more fulfilling route of self development.