It’s said that if you can make a woman laugh, you get her to laugh right into bed. Getting a girl to laugh isn’t a cure all to your dating woes, however, it’s a necessary social skill to build. Other than making a girl laugh, humour is also a way of make her and others feel comfortable around you.
Making women laugh, at the core of it, is the the art of drawing connections between too completely unrelated ideas or objects that’s completely absurd. It’s a creative activity. There’s no math behind it. You cannot over prepare for it. It’s not something you can box or put down to an algorithm.
Your sense of humour, ability to make her laugh, tease her is dependent on your willingness to be polarizing and edgy. The thing about making women laugh and putting jokes out there is that a good percentage of of them is going to fall flat. This is unavoidable.
Some times, I get a flat silence when I mouth off something ridiculous. Other times, I get a huge laugh. It’s a social risk I’m willing to take. The rule of thumb is this: if your joke fall flats don’t try to laugh at yourself or make fun of yourself. Just act as if nothing happens and move your conversational threads forward.
The best way to learn humor to help you make a girl laugh is to appreciate language and wit.
One of the ways to study stand up comedy. You’ll see me referencing stand up comedians for the rest of this article. I remembered when I first started reading up. I’ll stay up on Youtube to watch videos after videos of stand up comedy. I started listening to comedians like Louis Ck and Chris Rock. I also attended a couple of improvisation classes. You can find these improv classes on MeetUp.Com or just Google them. They are often affordable.
There’s a good percentage of my clients that are the nice guy sort. They are good listeners, yes, however, most of them aren’t willing to assert themselves in a more edgy, polarising manner. To get good at attracting women, you need to be somewhat edgy. Teasing her can go wrong. Saying something potentially offensive may piss her off.
There’s a HUGE difference in being humorous, having a sense of humour, and teasing her. Yes, there are overlapping principles, however, the former is making jokes that she finds funny, the latter is eliciting a man to woman frame by making fun of her. The latter is more useful to elicit sexual polarity in your interactions
Teasing is when you make humorous comments that are derogatory about someone. You can tease her just about everything: about how fake her hair looks. Or how red her shoes are. Try to be creative with this. When she dresses up, you can tell her she looks like some cartoon character from some movie.
Sarcasm DOESN’T come off well in certain situations. In some cultures, women can be quite offended or don’t react well to some good-natured ribbing. This can be quite true for the Singaporean or Asian culture. It all depends on who you are with. Some girls react well to more derogatory teasing, and some girls appreciate genuine compliments. Mix it up.
For the Singaporean readers: One classic line I used to do is to associate a girl with an ‘ah lian’ but in a light hearted manner. The ‘ah lian’ is a stereotype for a girl who isn’t that intelligent who’s quite unkempt in the Singaporean context.
Teasing should be done in good fun, it should be said with a smile. The perfect tease creates a mixture of emotions in a girl: defensiveness yet happiness. An ideal reaction from her should be: ‘Oh my god, I can’t believe you just said that.’ However, she’s smiling and laughing at the same time.
Comedian to study: Russell Brand
This can be practiced by studying local comedians that perform to your local audiences. Stereotypes are poked fun at almost every local comedy show. Teasing can be done along with the concept of common stereotypes. Russell Peters do a good job and racial jokes. Singaporean comedians like Kumar exploits it by going into Chinese, Malay and Indian stereotypes. One good one I often use is the good girl/ bad girl stereotypes.
This is the safest form of humour where you joke about something outside of you and the girl. Exaggeration has to be something absurd and non-logical.
Comedian to Study: Russell Peters
The technique of misdirection is one of the most common and easiest forms of humor. Misdirection occurs when you begin to say something or tell a story which leads to the listener to believe you’re making one point, but you proceed to say something completely different.
Here’s a good example of misdirection: I use all the time is to joke with girls that I’m actually quite shy, after spending an entire evening being slightly cocky and extroverted. I’ll also insert in at a point in the interaction where it’s least expected, just for the extra effect.
Comedian to study: Craig Ferguson
The technique of role plays is taken right out of the pick up artist textbooks.
They are playful and can be useful to spice up a stale interaction. You can role play girlfriend/boyfriend, husband/wife, student/teacher or any potentially sexual relationship. If she’s your ‘girlfriend’, you can either break up or get together with her. If she’s your ‘wife’, you can either divorce or marry her. One other role play and a slight dis-qualifier I use these days is complain to some else that your ex girlfriend (her) is bothering you.
Role playing is fun and refreshing for a girl. Nobody ever does it.
Just like all other humour techniques, role plays should be done in context. I used to do: ‘I’ll like to adopt you as my little sister’ (as a minor disqualification). However, this rarely works for me anymore. Girls often take it in a wrong way where they’ll think I’m not interested in her.
Here’s one of the most useful flirting, humor techniques, misinterpretation. It’s also a commonly known technique to answer ‘shit tests’.
For example, if a girl says: ‘I’m not too sure about that shirt you are wearing?’
You can misinterpret it as: ‘I’m flattered you’re thinking about my face, but hey slow down, didn’t we just meet?’ (done with a tongue in cheek manner)
This is basically misinterpreting anything a girl says as a compliment or a sexual advancement. However, be careful not to take it too far. Use it in context.
If your sense of humour revolves around a darker or intellectual form of humour, not everyone is going to get it. My sense of humour revolves around sarcasm, word puns and dark humour. Like making fun of dead babies, that sort. I’ve also rubbed people the wrong way.
Wordplays, puns, sarcasm and swearing falls under the category of subjective humor. They aren’t for everybody. However, if you find a girl that can connect you on such humor, then you’re may be hitting the lottery ticket.
Wordplay is similar to misdirection. However, wordplay practices misdirection by using words that have different meanings.
Girl: ‘Stop being so mean Marcus.’
Me: ‘Stop calling me average.’
Puns and wordplays are even a rarer form of appreciated humour than sarcasm. They tend to be intellectual in nature. You’ll find a small demographic of women who’ll appreciate them.
Sarcasm is a darker form of humor than teasing and it doesn’t really work well with most of the girls. This is especially true with Asian women. Asian culture is a lot more reserved and sensitive. The majority of women won’t get sarcastic humor. It may be misconstrued as being serious and get confused. Sarcasm, in my experience, gets even worst on text. However, you’ll get the rare one or two woman that understands sarcasm and she’ll love you for it.
Inserting a ‘fuck’ in your jokes can give you cheap laughs. I use it quite a bit during my teenage years and it has given me lots of laughs and weird stares simultaneously.
Swear words can be used sparingly if there’s a right delivery and you know that the person that you’re communicating to is cool with little swear words here and there. With that being said, it’s uncool to just based your conversations with too many swear words. It can show that you have a limited vocabulary.
Dropping an F-bomb in an already well timed joke can make the joke even funnier. However, dropping an F-Bomb in everything you say can make you come off as unsophisticated.
Side note: Swearing should be used minimally in Asian situations. (especially when there is elder family around.)
Example: Joe Rogan
There’s a form humour called self deprecating humour. It’s the art of making jokes at yourself. There’s a popular argument if someone that can laugh at himself and the world conveys a high level of confidence. He isn’t taking things too seriously or himself too seriously. He’s not really concerned about someone else’s perception of him. Compare this to someone who’s very serious and unable to laugh at himself or the world. This conveys that he is over invested in what others think of him and therefore is not confident.
I started off learning humor by studying Louis Ck. His style is humorous for him because he’s overweight and balding. However, despite being humourous, he’s not the kind the guy that women want to go home with. This is why for beginners, if you’re making fun of yourself and putting yourself down to get a laugh, you’ll come off as unconfident. You’ll need to be aware based on context. If you’re going out with a girl who’s really shy around you. Putting yourself down and laughing at yourself can help her loosen up and open up.
Okay, knowing jokes or the lines isn’t enough. There’s an art to telling jokes, teasing a girl or dropping an F-bomb. You need to pay attention to delivery, timing and facial expressions. These techniques unfortunately, can’t be taught through words.
The best way to learn this is to watch stand up comedians and watch their stand up routines. Take note of how they interact with the audience, their style of humor, their routines, how they tell a story and how they nail a punchline. Take note of how they time their jokes, their delivery and facial expressions when they make a joke.
One single sentence can be interpreted in multiple ways depending on you say it, deliver it. There are also often multiple meanings to words. This is known as innuendos. If you get good at timing, delivery, tonality and facial expressions, you can use plain English to say something in a sexual manner. “I like beach walks that are long, wet and hard”.
Humor isn’t to be studied logically like a Math exam. Humor is to be experienced creatively. If you are teasing her, it should be done with a smile, with a grin and with tongue in cheek. You don’t go up to her and ‘execute the humor’. Making women laugh is a creative skillset that relies on free association. The better you can freely associate any social situation, the better tou get.
One of the best ways to use humor isn’t to make her laugh, but to bring up sex in the conversation. If anything at all, the best use of humor is to use it to escalate physically with a girl. Openly talking about sex is a taboo topic in many cultures and many are uncomfortable to talk about it. However, if you bring humour into sex, then it’s a lot more acceptable.
Humor is commonly used by comedians to criticize sensitive issues or individuals in politics, as opposed to an outright assertion (that’ll get you sued). This is the same for sex. If it’s funny, you’re not being creepy.
To take your interaction to a more sexual frame, using humour to bring up sex can grease the wheels. It’s likely to get away with a controversial topic when it is funny.
The form of humor that works in an Asian dating culture is a lot different from the Westernized culture. In general, I find dark humour a lot more accepted in Western cultures. Not everyone responds well a darker sense of humour.
I’ll also stay away from religious jokes in most cultures. To give an example, the Singaporean culture has an interesting mix of a myriad of races and religion living cohesively. It’s safe to say that you should avoid jokes that are sensitive to religion.
The best method is to train yourself to be universally funny. That is: humor that is relatable to all people, regardless of culture. Louis Ck does a good job at this within certain themes. He’s able to express the nuances of humanity in a humorous way.
Caveat: Louis Ck has a self-depreciating style of humor that doesn’t suit well for many personalities (including mine). Girls ultimately desire a confident man that don’t poke fun at himself just to get laughs.
Finally, your sense of humour and your ability to make a girl laugh isn’t a cure all for your problems for attracting women. If she’s smiling and laugh, your jokes must be working right? That’s a pitfall that I fell into for a period of time.
If you over rely on their ability to make a girl laugh, you’ll end up as the dancing monkey or the ‘entertainer’ constantly seeking laughs from girls. You might find yourself over reliant on quick wit and jokes to avoid asserting yourself romantically or sexually.
In general, if you’re able to to crack a joke or two, then humour isn’t your main problem. If she’s laughing but your interactions seem to go nowhere, then your problem is being sexually assertive with her.