It’s hard not to notice similar principles in dating, relationships, politics and business. They all start from a position of power and independence.
I quote Charlie Munger:
‘I had a considerable passion to get rich, not because I wanted Ferraris – I wanted the independence. I desperately wanted it.’
If you master the art of cold approaching girl, you’re now freed from social groups or social politics. You do not have to fit in. You do not have to defer. You are free to roam and create your own social opportunities.
In your relationships, if you demonstrate you have choices or are able to generate choices, then you’re in a position of power. The majority do not have choices, but the world is your oyster. You are the hot guy that she’s chasing and competing with other girls for, not the other way around.
In your friendships, you don’t have to pay lip service to the ‘alpha’ guy in the group, at the fear of being ostracized. Normally, in the Singaporean/Asian context, it’s normally the richest, coolest or most popular guy. I never enjoyed deferring to others for any rhyme or reason other out of genuine respect.
If you’re an employee, you got no mobility. You’re tied to a brand, a certificate or a practioner’s license. You aren’t free to create. Your source of creativeness is stammered down by corporate structure, other people’s ideas or bureaucracy. The part of you the individuates, creates in you is stammered. The solution is in entrepreneurship, an owner and becoming one that governs your own enterprise.
I noticed this power dynamic as I took up on a couple of projects recently. Call it what you want, however, I am ultimately still dictated by my client. He controls my compensation. He controls my creativity. He gets to boss me around. I am not free to write. It can be creatively stifling at times. Not to mention the time sinks and emotional sinks with arguments and disagreements.
You need ownership. You need freedom. You need mobility. Staying as a service provider is going to ruin you.
Hence, my partial obsession with social skills, entreprenuership and investing.
These power dynamics and social dynamics are all around you. You need to constantly move into a position of power, in your relationships and in your finances. Whether be it through mastering the arts of female psychology, the nature of politics, entrepreneurship or fattening up your stock account.
You can be the best at what you do, and think that’s enough. No. If you think the world will appreciate you for your talents, knowledge or wisdom. You are going to be extremely wrong as I have been. Lady luck, just like the feminine, is something you wrestle and pin down. She falters to the bold and never the timid.
The majority in the world are not going to hold you in esteem for your knowledge or your wisdom. The majority are too quick to judge. They’ll drown you with their opinions, character assassinations and make you doubt your self worth.
How many times have you come across people criticizing your character, as opposed to your actions?
If someone didn’t like you because of something you did, they are often too quick to label a personality trait on to you.
I heard them all:
‘Selfish’. ‘Unapologetic’. ‘Unattentive to details’. ‘Money minded’. ‘Playboy.’
They almost always come the closest people around you:parents, siblings and childhood friends. Hard truth.
The ironic thing is that I don’t really think some of these negative traits are that bad. For example, let be honest, everyone is self serving. Selfishness is ingrained in everyone. In psychology they call it a self serving bias.
If you aren’t selfish to a certain extent, you’ll constantly be thrown off your trajectory in life.
Nevertheless, stay away far from people that make you doubt your own self worth, at all costs. The further you distance yourself from this people, the more powerful, mobile and independent you become.
If you find it hard to do so, let me put forth to you: these acquaintances of yours, how many of these relationships are formed out of noble inspired values? The majority of them are borne out of social circumstances, out of social necessity.
There is no reason for you not to create an introspective filter from the external world.
You are alone in your own recesses, only communicating with people that aid you in your course. You need not fear to be alone. You are born alone, and you are going to die alone.
Only by realizing, and instilling that, that you are truly free.