Last week I ended up apologizing I didn’t feel at fault for. Initially, I apologized just to keep the relationship diplomatic and avoid any drama. However, I ended up feeling bitter, resentful and unjustified. I wasn’t in the wrong I thought. I shouldn’t be the one apologizing. I ended up angry at myself for not standing up for myself just to keep things diplomatic.
If you end up looking past something at the cost of feeling injustified, your relationship with the other party isn’t meaningful anymore. You sacrificed self-esteem and personal boundaries for a false sense of acceptance. Up till today, I struggle between being diplomatic and expressing my genuine thoughts. I guess I still struggle with a need for acceptance and I hold back my genuine thoughts in order to be more diplomatic.
Social Pressure as a Top Performer – Journal
The more successful you desire to be or become, the more polarizing reactions you’ll get from people around you. That’s an inescapable fact of life. I’m aware that I’m pretty outspoken and unconventional. If you put me in the same room with the Prime Minister of Singapore, I believe I’ll speak my mind. In a collectivistic culture like Singapore, I’m bound to face some repercussions.
Some say I’m too harsh on myself and others. However, in my opinion, they are not used to being a top performer. They don’t assert their boundaries. I’m not going to be some bullshit life coach, my content is somewhat polarizing.
I’m driven for results in my own business and personal life. I do put quite a bit of pressure on myself and it rubs off others around me. I am honest, direct and blunt. There’s a price for being polarizing. There are no two ways about it. I can’t please everybody.
Sometimes, if things don’t go your way in personal relationships or romance, it’s not about you. Sometimes, people are just fucked. Sometimes, there’s simply an incompatibility of personal values. There’s no one to blame here. However, you’re always responsible for any negative event in your life.