I’m not successful. I don’t consider myself a success yet. However, I desire to be. That alone can rub a lot of people off the wrong way. Envy, jealousy or a lack of ambition, whatever it is. The pursuit of knowledge and search for excellence can lead to isolation. For years, I always took on the burden, self-improved, be a little more patience, be a little more kind and compassionate.
However, I realize that many people aren’t really worth it:
- There are the guys that resort to physical means in football when they can’t get the ball.
- There are fair weathered friends that subtlely criticize you.
- There are business partners that don’t follow through on their word and back out of deals
- There are people that spend their time and effort on things like the lottery and criticize you when you bother to learn how to investing.
I made a couple of decisions after coming back from Europe. One key decision was to evaluate how I was spending my time and the quality of the people I was spending it on. It’s interesting that I’m getting random messages telling me about their dating life or talking shit about companies I am working with.
Look, I’m not interested in your stories of how you approached some girl in Orchard road. I’m not impressed. I’m also not there to validate you. Unless you’re my client or a good friend, please, I’m not interested. I’m also not interested in your opinions criticizing the companies I worked with.
If you are going to make it all about you. Shut the fuck up. I’m not going to be empathetic. I’m not going to listen.
If you want to say something, say something constructive, say something of value.
The Disraeli Compromise
Through the years, life deals you unfair blows. Lost of relationships, lost friendships and business partners screwing you over.
Life can be painful. It can be so painful that if you can’t bear it, it’s going to a negative experience for you through this life.
There are many circumstances that you can feel wronged by:
- Clients shouting at you over the phone on a Friday night
- Clients that don’t pay up on time
- Friends that aren’t accountable and treat you unfairly
- Someone bullying you in a football match
- Business partners that don’t keep on their promises
- Superiors that take credit for your work
Through these events, I get hot-headed and want to prove a point, sometimes at my own emotional or financial loss. I desired revenge.
However, the more you hold on to anger and resentment, the more it kills you inside. Sometimes it might feel great to feel malingered, on how the world should have treated you better and how you are going to get back at them, whether be it through success with women or financial achievements.
These days, I’m learning how to get better at guarding my own personal introspective life. Something I got out of Einstein’s biography. He sought refuge in the Sciences and thought little of meagre human politics.
There are a couple of ways to deal with these circumstances.
- Self-reflect. Is it them, or you at fault? If you don’t self-reflect, you don’t deserve to go to the next couple of steps.
- The world is a disgusting world. You need to understand power and politics. I learned this the hard way. I also repeated similar mistakes in a multitude of circumstances.
- Make the Disraeli Compromise
Benjamin Disraeli rose to become one of the greatest Prime Ministers of his time. He learned to give up vengeance as a motivation for action and retained an outlet for resentment by putting the names of people who wronged him on pieces of paper in a drawer. He then reviewed them time to time and took pleasure in noting the world had taken his enemies down without his assistance.
Through the years, I take slight pleasure when people that wronged me were brought down in through life by its own means. I’m a sadist that way. Aren’t all of us are? Nietzche stated that there’s no there is no festival without cruelty.
The world isn’t perfect. You’re going to get hurt. If immediate revenge or action doesn’t serve you, I suggest making the Disraeli compromise.