Why I’ll Never Ask Her to Be My Girlfriend Before Sex

By Marcus Neo | Dating Advice for Men

Dec 01

Every modern dating problem starts off with the proposition that women are the gate keepers of sex and men are the gate keepers of commitment. We are brought up by modern culture to equate love with sex, and sex with commitment and passion with unconditional love.

Some people swear by commitment, the ideals of traditional loyalty, asceticism and marriage. They proudly thump it on their chest their badge as a moral badge. Others go against it, swearing off traditional norms of mating. They wish nothing but for polyamory.

Yet how we have driven ourselves senseless. To the point to equate long term emotional attachment to celebratory moments of passion, and vice versa.

One must consider the proposition that traditions such as traditional labels of a relationship or even marriage are nothing but societal constructs. Or maybe they are merely evolutionary means to keep the human species going.

The hundreds of couples of getting together to appease social norms. Only to find themselves displeased, dejected after weeks, months or years of habitual living. Are we only going to celebrate love and affection only after certain conditions are met? What if we were doing too much to fulfil these conditions? Or maybe expectations? What if our intentions were not the purest and only means to an end?

One must not conflate lust and unconditional love.

Yet, on the other hand, isn’t it a life of moral goodness to live a life of commitment to one partner. Yes it is. However, how many do it from a standpoint of moral goodness? If we desire for commitment before engaging in physical affection, then we must remember that if it’s traded commitment for affection, then it’s not unconditional after all. It’s only a temporary trade.

About the Author

Enjoys writing about dating, relationship, business, and psychology. Introvert yet extrovert. Likes martial arts and music, but never got around to the latter.

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